The Art of Overthinking

Friday, August 05, 2016

Overthinking. This one really annoying and extremely exhausting habit your mind has, that is impossible to break. It is basically nothing else but having a discussion with your brain about every single detail from your daily life, the more embarrassing or awkward, the better. While you are trying to argue that everything is totally fine and all that happened was perfectly good and nothing to worry about, your mind spreads doubt and is really talented at convincing you that everything you really did was make a fool of yourself. Or also, how terribly painful that one visit to the doctor's next week is going to be and that secretly, everyone hates you and all they are doing is pretending.

There are so many people who suffer from this, let's call it "symptom". No matter how rational and down to earth someone might seem from the outside, inside, they could be having the biggest mental fight you have ever witnessed. 

For people who have never experienced this (and thank God, cause you are so lucky), this might be really hard to imagine. It can be so exhausting to actively prevent yourself from thinking about a certain topic, however, the temptation usually wins and you end up going over hundreds of things, like you did thousands of times before. And, in 9 out of 10 cases, the outcome and the "final agreement" you settle with, is usually worse than the one previous to this one. 

The things I struggle with the most are topics like "Oh my God, this was so embarrassing, everyone must think I am a fool, now!", or also "Did I write something wrong? Why don't they call right back? What if they hate me? What if I have no one?!". It can be excruciating. Thoughts like having no one there for you or everyone thinking that you are a some kind of idiot are the nicest ones, which is imaginable, I guess.

But then I take a step back and try stepping into the shoes of the others. What would I think if someone had a slightly embarrassing situation? Probably "Oh God, poor them! It happens, nothing to worry about!", and certainly not "Hahaha this fool!". And that helps. Because, why should anyone else think differently than I do? Why should they hat me for something that happened to my by accident? I mean if they do, then they are the fools and can just stay away from my life, thank you very much. 

Being this confident and just not giving a damn (excuse me here) about all of this is incredibly hard. But every time I manage to do so, and I find out later that all my worrying was completely pointless, I am sort of proud and learn a lesson. And for the next time, it is a little easier and hopefully someday, It will be gone completely.

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